My brief return to the football world

Following the loss of football professional Gary Speed, I came across this sensitive tribute on David Connor's Coethica blog My comment on David's blog was as follows

Even though I never met Gary Speed, he always struck me as a very genuine, grounded professional in a sport which I have turned away from due to what I consider to be obscene amounts of money and over-inflated self-importance of most of its participants. I was surprised at how shocked I was when I heard the news and even more so hearing the cause. 

At a much lower level, I have experienced the lonely darkness of separation, running a struggling business, the spiralling, deepening abyss of its failure and the consequences which continue today 2 years later. If I’d had a heart attack or a stroke, I’m sure those around me would have found it easier to deal with. And maybe I too would have found it easier to ask for and obtain ongoing support. 

But the fact is that, being of a certain social and educational background, the expectation (from others and possibly from myself) is to “just get on with it”. It is this expectation which turns most of us into “human doings” rather than “human beings”, all for the sake of surviving in a monetary-based system in which sensitivity, empathy and co-operation are diminishing values.

RIP Gary Speed

The Power of Crisis... but you still need a buddy

Over the last few weeks, I've become a great fan of Tony Robbins' material. It makes a lot of sense along with many other NLP-based personal development strategies etc. I've just listened to his Power of Crisis audio with great interest - it all makes sense and have felt motivated to try to take some action. But, even Tony admits that when you're down in a crisis, a friend, colleague, buddy can help - someone who has been through something similar to whatever you're going through.

"Crisis is the crucible of our lives - the blast furnace that often melts down life as we know it. It can take us, or can offer us the opportunity to recast our lives into something greater, deeper and more rewarding

Today, we're facing extremely challenging times: from the multi-trillion dollar loss in retirmement wealth that's left the stock market decimating people's life savings and the collapse of the real estate market with foreclosures at an all time high to the massive loss of jobs across the country. This distressing news offers us nothing more than fear. So where do we turn? How can we access the power of the human spirit to meet any obstacle and triumph over our greatest challenges, injustices and pain."

Tony Robbins - The Power of Crisis

Ch, ch, ch, changes...Turn and face the strain

Part of the problem I have faced is knowing what to do next. With a zig-zagging work history in the years before setting up my business, I find myself not only facing the financial abyss but also a career abyss.

Besides making and waiting on phone calls for banks, creditors etc, I'm trying to find a way through to some sort of new start. Finding out how to sell myself is proving a challenge as I haven't got enough recent experience on the one hand but have too many years experience on the other. I'm currently trying to find a way of phrasing the fact that I'm prepared to start at the bottom of my previous career ladder to get back up to speed, as, until I can find the time and money to give myself the luxury of re-inventing myself, a route back into my previous career seems to be the only way to pay the rent,

InternsOver40 seems to reflect pretty much where I'm at although much of the material is aimed at those who have the resources to take some time. However, it does put out some good stuff for when I'm feeling in a positive mood.

In this Career Change Tips & Tricks video, the one tip that stuck out for me was to find 3 to 5 other people who have gone through a significant career change - hey, that sounds familiar! A career change buddy system!!

Options, Schmoptions!

The options for ending your business depend on available funds/assets/finances. The one I've taken is to strike off the company (s652 of the UK Companies Act) as that is sort of my only option. That's because neither the company nor I can acess the funds to put the company into the hands of professionals - accountants to do my accounts, insolvency practitioners to wind it up, etc. I'm having to take the chance on it not getting too serious and having my wrist figuratively slapped from the company aspect and then deciding whether I want to hand my life over to the Official Receiver in bankruptcy. The UK Citizens Advice Bureau are offering some help on both sides but it's dragging.

At a personal level, I'm looking at lots of options available to me (IT, tutoring, languages, music, internet marketing, running away, dropping out) but therein lies part of the problem - no real career or specialism so I'm finding it hard to get motivated with the waiting for the weight to really hit the fan from the bank and HMRC as well as having to jump through loops for the dole and housing/CT benefit because I was employed by my own company which owes me money - I've had to spend a lot of time dealing with that.

I don't necessarily have a problem taking responsibility for my mistakes but where I do have a problem is when organisations hide their responsibility behind their faceless-nature - try getting the name of the decision maker! Who is the actual person with the buck, taking responsibility for risky banking decisions, toxic debt and government practices which contribute to business failures. Small business may be the lifeblood of the country but I'm find myself moving towards the conspiracy theorists camp when it comes to New World Orders, "1984" etc - if I'd have taken serious notice of the Zeitgeist Movie and The Trap when I saw them a couple of years ago, again, I don't think I would have taken the chance on dealing with banks. My naive business model is an idealised co-operative/hippy thing which has little value (financial or otherwise) nowadays.

In short, I can't see any fun for a long time unless my Lotto numbers come up (when I can afford to buy the ticket)!